Guest Blogger:
The Author, Amanda I. Greene
The Author, Amanda I. Greene
In 2011 I took a leap of faith, leaving my comfortable full-time job in the energy and environmental sector to pursue a ten year dream of bringing my children's book character, Squishy Blueberry, to life in a self-published book. “The Book” (and its website) was what I stubbornly clung to as the first step in creating my vision of D’inkling Publishing, an educational children's multimedia company. Leaving my full-time job to pursue my dream was not exactly a strategic decision in terms of planning and timing, but it was inevitable. Fortunately, nearly three years later I completed the first book of the series in March of this year!
A Detour To "Grow Up"
Squishy Blueberry first came into my life as my muse in 2002, after a three month trip to Israel and reading the Tao of Pooh. With the help of friends, I quickly realized that Squishy as a children's book character was my calling, encapsulating all that I found important and interesting in life. Yet at the time I didn't feel ready, and instead of pursuing my dream I went back to graduate school on a seven year career path in environment and energy policy (’04 – ’11).
The environmental field was the closest thing I could imagine myself being heartfully committed to in the full time job world working for someone else, and it complemented my undergrad studies in chemistry, which was fun. I loved the work I did and the amazing leaders I met. Yet things weren’t lining up for me – due both to my own issues with self-confidence, as well as things outside my control such as clients retiring and divisions spinning off.
I now look back at graduate school and post grad employment as a period of “growing up.” No matter what I did in this time, I would have been growing, learning and becoming my version of “ready” - ready to share my awe-tistic heart’s first dream, Squishy Blueberry, with the world.
At the same time – the question remains – could I have taken the leap earlier? Should I have? After all, I had a gnawing sense that I was hiding in my environmental career. Perhaps by staying in my full time job I was actually delaying aspects of my personal growth. As many of us know, starting and thriving in our own business requires at least the same self esteem to succeed as working at someone else's company. But who really knows how things would have evolved if I'd leapt sooner? Perhaps it was perfect timing.
The environmental field was the closest thing I could imagine myself being heartfully committed to in the full time job world working for someone else, and it complemented my undergrad studies in chemistry, which was fun. I loved the work I did and the amazing leaders I met. Yet things weren’t lining up for me – due both to my own issues with self-confidence, as well as things outside my control such as clients retiring and divisions spinning off.
I now look back at graduate school and post grad employment as a period of “growing up.” No matter what I did in this time, I would have been growing, learning and becoming my version of “ready” - ready to share my awe-tistic heart’s first dream, Squishy Blueberry, with the world.
At the same time – the question remains – could I have taken the leap earlier? Should I have? After all, I had a gnawing sense that I was hiding in my environmental career. Perhaps by staying in my full time job I was actually delaying aspects of my personal growth. As many of us know, starting and thriving in our own business requires at least the same self esteem to succeed as working at someone else's company. But who really knows how things would have evolved if I'd leapt sooner? Perhaps it was perfect timing.
Important Lessons
Understanding that the same things holding me back while working for someone else in a career that I enjoyed but wasn't a full expression of me, would still be there (and then some!) as an entrepreneur in my field of true calling, was an important lesson for me. YES, your greatest success lies in your heart’s true calling. But that doesn’t mean it will be easy once you do find it. If anything it will be condensed amounts of “harder,” but with the beauty of amazing life lessons and deeply fulfilling “work” experiences, pushing you to outside the edges of your comfort zone and into the worlds you previously only dreamed of. (This is inevitable in all areas of life, actually, no matter what we do. To live in new ways, ways that have previous been outside our realm of experience, we must change and let old behaviors go.)
I do not regret my detour, and still look at it as my growing up period while Squishy Blueberry was brewing underneath. And I did make some progress on the book during my seven year haitus with the help of some amazing authors (Steven Covey, Napoleon Hill, Eckhart Tolle) recommended to me by friends. But I was moving at a snails pace.
I do not regret my detour, and still look at it as my growing up period while Squishy Blueberry was brewing underneath. And I did make some progress on the book during my seven year haitus with the help of some amazing authors (Steven Covey, Napoleon Hill, Eckhart Tolle) recommended to me by friends. But I was moving at a snails pace.
When I finally left the comfort of my regular paycheck, it wasn’t simply because I didn’t have time for the book while working a full time job (though granted, full time work takes a lot of energy!) It was more that I didn’t trust myself to complete the book unless my survival depended on it. Now I do not believe that needs to be the case - it was just my way of lighting a fire under me to DO IT. Luckily, I was able to distill some important lessons from the experience of emotional and financial struggle I found myself in as I gave birth to the first Squishy Blueberry book - lessons that I can carry with me forward and share with others.
What Do I Mean By Growing Up?
Why didn’t I feel ready to bring Squishy Blueberry into the world back in 2002/3 when he first became my muse? The answer can be simplified to this: I needed to grow up. Because of the ideals of transparency and integrity I had about business and marketing, the complex vision of the company becoming an innovator in children’s entertainment, and the sensitive nature of the messages (to nurture self-esteem in children), I couldn’t just leap in before I had deep confidence in myself.
In fact, I had no problem having confidence in Squishy Blueberry and D’inkling Publishing, because I knew they came from a place of pure inspiration, represented the things I love to do naturally, and were the culmination of much of my studies from teens through 20s in chemistry, philosophy, meditation, and personal development. I mean, how can you go wrong with that brew?
Rather, it was myself I needed to believe in, in all sort of ways, including: my ability to execute the idea well; my ability to attract people with similar ideals who I felt
"got" Squishy Blueberry; and, most essential, that I was worthy of not just surviving but thriving doing something I love.
In fact, I had no problem having confidence in Squishy Blueberry and D’inkling Publishing, because I knew they came from a place of pure inspiration, represented the things I love to do naturally, and were the culmination of much of my studies from teens through 20s in chemistry, philosophy, meditation, and personal development. I mean, how can you go wrong with that brew?
Rather, it was myself I needed to believe in, in all sort of ways, including: my ability to execute the idea well; my ability to attract people with similar ideals who I felt
"got" Squishy Blueberry; and, most essential, that I was worthy of not just surviving but thriving doing something I love.
What Was the Key?
In the three years I spent working on Squishy Blueberry, self-development became my ultimate focus in bringing my dreams to reality. I am not talking about graduate school. I'm talking about self development books as well as personal coaches, both of which help us get passed those deep internal blocks to our own happiness. If you are not already what you consider "successful", or as successful as you'd like to be, you have a block. And although it's possible, it's unlikey the block is a mis-perception you can simply unthink overnight (although you might want to, and that may eventually be the goal). Forty days is the minimum they say it takes to replace an old thought with a new one that becomes second nature - and that's if you are focusing on it every day multiple times!
The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, A New Earth, and Think & Grow Rich, which I read before I left my full time job, were just the beginning of the amount of learning I had before me as I embarked on my dream of bringing Squishy Blueberry to life. Additional books/authors include: A Woman's Worth (Marianne Williamson), The Big Leap (Gay Hendricks), Leveraging the Universe (Mike Dooley), Wallace Wattles, Gabrielle Bernstein, and Esther Hicks. And there are many many more.
The books alone were invaluable to me, and are a very small investment for the amount of internal confidence and power they can unleash, especially when read repeatedly. I also tried out several women's coaching programs focused on releasing false beliefs and developing self worth in order to live the life of our dreams. These programs range from free (e.g. introductory videos by many coaches), to a few hundred dollars for several week long group tele-classes, to thousands for more one-on-one attention. They are much deeper than any traditional therapy I had received through mainstream channels and were the kind of help for which I had been searching for over a decade. Not just to help me with my career, but in order to truly live!
The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, A New Earth, and Think & Grow Rich, which I read before I left my full time job, were just the beginning of the amount of learning I had before me as I embarked on my dream of bringing Squishy Blueberry to life. Additional books/authors include: A Woman's Worth (Marianne Williamson), The Big Leap (Gay Hendricks), Leveraging the Universe (Mike Dooley), Wallace Wattles, Gabrielle Bernstein, and Esther Hicks. And there are many many more.
The books alone were invaluable to me, and are a very small investment for the amount of internal confidence and power they can unleash, especially when read repeatedly. I also tried out several women's coaching programs focused on releasing false beliefs and developing self worth in order to live the life of our dreams. These programs range from free (e.g. introductory videos by many coaches), to a few hundred dollars for several week long group tele-classes, to thousands for more one-on-one attention. They are much deeper than any traditional therapy I had received through mainstream channels and were the kind of help for which I had been searching for over a decade. Not just to help me with my career, but in order to truly live!
Each Journey is Unique
This was my personal journey, and it's not surprising I had to go through so much "therapy" on my way to publishing my book. This kind of developmental education is a huge part of what I (and many others!) perceive is missing from our education system - the area of developing self worth and emotional intelligence. And the earlier the child learns it the better, I believe - not just for the sake of the child, for the future of our world.
And the journey is never done. There is always a next step, in business and in our own personal development. I still have a long path before me. And I am not against working for someone else, say doing technical editing (something I love to do). But I will do so knowing that it is ultimately an investment in myself and my dreams, which gives it a whole new level of meaning.
And the journey is never done. There is always a next step, in business and in our own personal development. I still have a long path before me. And I am not against working for someone else, say doing technical editing (something I love to do). But I will do so knowing that it is ultimately an investment in myself and my dreams, which gives it a whole new level of meaning.
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